Free As A Bird Now!

Well the offspring had traffic court this afternoon to face the music for her "failing to yield" blunder. We practiced what she needed to say to the judge. The first and most important words to come out of her mouth were to be "not guilty". So we showed up to the address posted in the letter, 4000 Saratoga Ave, at about 12:30pm for the scheduled 1pm court date.  It turned out the court proceedings were to be held at an ancillary court facility which was actually the local American Legion Hall (VFW Hall), 4000 Saratoga Ave....weird.  The temperature was at least 105 degrees in the direct sun, ouch, as we made our way to go inside.  Well, they did not open the doors until about 12:50pm. My Mennen Speed Stick wore off about 12:35pm. Thank Joe Pesci the place had great air conditioning, so the effects of the heat wore off quickly with the exception of my Mennen Speed Stick's effectiveness. Needless to say it was crowed and I did not expect to leave the place until at least 4pm. Plus I could not get that Twilight Zone Episode out of my head.  I did not want to spend the rest of eternity trapped in a VFW hall with these people! I am sure they were all nice once you got to know them; but brevity, not nice was my priority. The judge was awesome and did move the proceeding along very efficiently. I ascertained very quickly he was a real nice dude and was not out to lay down anything heavy on anyone unless they  provoked him.   I deleted  George Carlin's  7 words you can not say from my temporary memory cache.  Our last name was one of the last to be called. But hey, it was only 1:50pm! The judge had dispensed about 40-50 case away already!  I may still make it to the gym today after all.  Forget that, had to focus! Ok Syd...whisper to me, one more time (we had practiced her plea and explanation of the accident all day Sunday,  otherwise her nerves would have slain us all in our sleep). She began, "Not Guilty", "I was proceeding south on Fairview doing the speed limit", "I had plenty of time to make my turn" etc. etc. Then all of a sudden we heard..."WOJCIAK!". "Here your honor!" my daughter said confidently and then leaned over to me whispering "Don't worry dad, I go this". We then approached the bench...let me type that again...approached the bench. The judge, the cool dude, said coolly, "Good afternoon Sydney, is this you dad?" "Yes sir" she replied. "Hi dad" he replied back. He then looked, all official like, at a piece of official looking paper and semi-shouted to the entire courtroom, "Is Pat Mushe here today?"  He said again "Pat Mushe?"  There was no reply, silence, golden silence. The person who was the recipient of Sydney's left handed compliment was not in court. "Case dismissed!" the judge decreed. He bounced his gavel once or twice and shazaam, it was over. "Have a nice day" he said with a smile. Say what?   Say nothin'!! She was free as a bird now, and this bird and her daddy bolted for the car whistlin' Dixie. Ronnie Van Zant would have been proud. So the car accident fiasco is finally legally over.  And with the exception of a jack up insurance rate, all's well that ends well. No blood and no foul! Crack me a beer and rock on!